Not all those who are smiling at you, or remain close to you, have good intentions. Certain behaviors may appear harmless, but as time goes by gradually they destroy trust, confidence, and emotional safety. Being aware of these patterns in time would save your peace without having to hurry up and judge and accuse. This list does not address one-time errors or bad days. Even when one falls, a good person will be concerned with growth and repair. A negative element, nevertheless, leaves a steady trail of misleadance, unsteadiness, and uneasiness. By learning these signs, one will have a better chance to establish boundaries, make healthy decisions, and maintain a relationship with the other partner grounded in respect and not on obligation, fear, or guilt, which can be detrimental to well-being and long-term interpersonal goodwill.
Lack of accountability
This individual does not readily take accountability of errors and has regular practice of shifting the blame on to situations or other individuals. The apologies are contingent or tactical instead of genuine and constructive transformation does not occur after a conflict and so the cycle of problem recurrence, with the same problems going unresolved or unlearned takes place.
Misbehavior in the name of sincerity
Injurious comments are subjected as truth or realism without considering empathy and time. Rather than providing advice that can help to grow, people feel undermined, humiliated, or even shut up by communication, and cruelty is justified as being simple.
Manipulative communication
Discussions are based on guilt, force, or emotional coercion in achieving compliance. Delegations are in the form of command and disobedience is responded with sadness or dropouts, it is easier to yield than to uphold the individual boundaries.
Selective empathy
It is compassion that comes out only when it is in the interest of personal image or convenience. Emotional distance substitutes care when it comes to needing to be patient or even make a sacrifice when people need it and no one can notice the difference when people are needed.
Broken promises as a pattern
Oaths are made effortlessly but seldom kept. Reasonings take the place of hard work, and sadness is the new order of the day, whereby others learn to lower their expectations and the act goes on without any checks and balances.
Familiar with the discomfort of others
It is also observable that there is satisfaction when the other person is not doing well, is failing or embarrassed. Sadness turns into entertainment instead of a reason to worry and this presents a deficiency in fundamental humanity and emotional maturity.
Chronic criticism of others
There is a lot of judgment and comparison, which are directed towards absent people in conversations. This practice adds a sense of negativism and feeling of superiority with little room to be generous, fair, or good-willed.
Enmity towards boundaries
Any hint of going beyond the boundaries is treated with annoyance, feelings of guilt or walking away. Respect on personal space is received as rejection meaning failure to respect autonomy or mutual respect.
Inconsistent values
Values change depending on expediency or self-interest. What is condemned in others is justified in one self, and this sets up standards of two kinds, undermining trust and showing a want of integrity.
Failure to delight in others
A higher and greater success is downplayed or denied. Support appears either non-existent or competitive making positive experiences a source of conflicts instead of mutual delight.
Postinteractional emotional exhaustion
The hours of togetherness always extract heaviness or discomfort. Without the presence of overt conflict, interactions are exhausting of energy and clarity that is indicative of an unhealthy dynamics that silently gives more than it takes.
