Some politeness that appears to be correct at first can shift the perception and treatment of other people a bit in the wrong direction over time. During courtesy, there is nothing wrong, however, when kindness becomes self-erasure, over-accommodation, or being self-doubtful all the time, respect fades silently. Individuals tend to react not only to words, but also to the signals behind words ,confidence, limits and self-worth. When such signals are undermined, other people would end up not taking you seriously unwillingly in the course of time. The transition is not so evident and can not occur at once, thus, it is difficult to observe. Being aware of these patterns, you are able to remain nice without undermining yourself. These are a few little niceties that when abused gradually diminish the respect others hold towards us.
Apologizing for everything
Being apologetic about things that you cannot control might make one appear uncertain about his/her right to exist in a space. Excessive apologizing diminishes the effect of true apologies and could be an indicator of low confidence. Individuals begin to see you as less commanding.
Never letting other people make decisions
It always sounds pleasant when you continuously delegate decisions to other people but gradually you fade away. People will change their minds to think that you do not have preferences at all when you never do. They no longer consult your opinion after a period of time.
Minimizing on your achievements
Understating your achievements can be a modest thing, but one which leaves people underestimating your skills. When you dismiss a compliment, then people will ultimately think that it was not a big thing. When accepting compliments, one should demonstrate confidence by accepting the compliments gracefully.
Laughing off disrespect
Rudeness should be turned into a joke, which prevents discomfort, but also makes others think that such behavior is not wrong. Unclear boundaries are usually followed by disrespect. Dignity can be strengthened by handling minor insults in a peaceful manner. Human beings would know how to treat you according to what you can tolerate and not what you are saying.
Over-explaining decisions
Being able to explain simple choices in a long way may make you appear insecure. Assertive individuals are clear and not defensive. Explaining too much encourages others to doubt you.
Always being available
It can be tempting to say yes to all the requests, but it makes your time appear cheap. When you never make any limits, people will think you do not have any. A guarded time is a signifier that your energy is important and makes people respect each other in personal and professional life.
Speaking too softly
At the time when you are not vocal or loud enough to communicate important things, people can ignore your ideas. The weak speech may be misunderstood as indecision. Clear and smooth speech is a sign of confidence and makes people listen to you and take your input into consideration during a conversation, at a meeting or guiding a group.
Avoiding eye contact
Even unintentional and limited eye contact can be an indicator of insecurity or discomfort. Eye contact speaks of presence, confidence, and interaction. Human beings are likely to show more respect when they are recognized and noticed when communicating and in mutual interactions.
Allowing distractions to pass
When you allow people to keep on talking to you, it is an indication that whatever you are saying is not mandatory. Being polite in completing your thought is a show of self-respect. Always taking your place is a good way of training people to listen and respect you when discussing.
Always in need of acceptance
Asking people to confirm minor choices on numerous occasions can make one seem uncertain about oneself. Although feedback is valuable, it is problems with reassurance-seeking constantly that undermine perceived confidence. Being able to make decisions by yourself and having confidence in your choice makes other people listen to your ability and maturity in the long run.
